Reckless driver

First of all, sorry in advance because this title is misleading. Secondly, I’ve missed writing y’all 🥹

To my friends who keep asking what my type is, I still don’t know. However I know I want a reckless driver. Once again it’s not what you think it is.

The car is parked, it’s shiny with new wheels and hopefully good speed. We’re both waiting by the sidewalk. I believe this is where we meet for the first time. Now who’s going to drive? I believe this is what we call, “feeling each other out”. Wondering if this ship will sail at all or not. I want you to take the driver’s seat.

You’re in the car now but I’ve not decided if I’d take the front seat or back seat. I mean am I comfortable enough around you to take the front seat yet? Or do I just want to sit back and watch? This is probably where you ask me out. I want you to give me reasons to take the front seat.

I’m in the car with you and you start the engine, what seat did I choose? If you noticed you didn’t mention it. You’re just going on about how you want to know me. I like that. You don’t put on the radio or make yourself into one. I have to remind you every now and then to keep your eyes on the road. I feel involved and now I wish I took the front seat. I want you to keep looking back at me even if you’re driving.

What’s the speed limit in this thing? I don’t know, I’m not used to dating. But I know we’re within the speed limit. You’re getting me all kinds of excited and I’m enjoying the trip. I almost want you to speed it up. But you’re taking your time, telling me we’re in no rush. I want you to keep following the road signs.

So much time has passed and by the way I’m in the front seat now, seeing you up close, being in your space and breathing in your aura. We’re so happy that once in a while you speed up and I have to catch up with you. Till we hit some speed bumps and it becomes real. Our first fight, the second and third. I even angrily suggested we take separate cars. But you slowed down and parked every time, reassuring me. I want you to keep being safety conscious.

It has happened. I’m in love with you because now I’m sure you’re in love with me. I need you past the speed limit now. I need you driving so fast, doing fast & furious tricks and me begging you to slow down. I know you’re concerned about my safety irrespective and even if we go off the road and crash, it will be because you couldn’t take your eyes off me. I want you to be my reckless driver.

Inspired by Lizzy McAlpine’s Reckless driver. Lovely song.

As always I’ll let you guys figure out if this post about me or it’s just a thought in my head. I’ll appreciate your likes and comments too😊

Dear Future Self……

What would you love to be when you grow up? If you could have one superpower, what would it be? If you could talk to your future self, what would you tell her? These are questions most people throw around at a slumber party or even a drinking game but it could be a deciding factor for someone.

I would start from the last question. Dear future self, I believe you’re doing well, you’re getting it though it might be hard. Dear future self, I believe you’ve learnt to overcome your fears and anxiety by just letting things go. Dear future me, I believe you’ve made up your mind to be more vulnerable and less implosive with your emotions so you can experience true freedom at all times.

If I could have one superpower, what would it be? At first I thought I wanted to see the future; it would get rid of my anxiety, my fear of the unknown. Then I wanted to change the past; to get rid of my mistakes and the hurt I still sometimes carry. Then I wanted to read minds; a really cool one but did I really want to know the things people thought about me? Not with my sensitive self.

Now I just want the ability to make people fall in love. Love truly gets rid of the rot and dirt in the world. When you love someone, you can’t bear to see them hurt. We wouldn’t hurt each other if we love each other.

What would I love to be when I grow up? A doctor? A writer? A dancer? I want to be all that but above all, I want to be a force. Impact is caused by a force. I want to be that force that causes change in my generation. I hope that’s not too much to ask.

The Jealous Type.

One day we will have a conversation on the topic of jealousy and how we all pretend we don’t get jealous of our friends and loved ones. Today it’s just my take versus yours.

I, like many of you used to see jealousy as weakness, as accepting that someone else is better than you at that moment for any reason. I used to ban the thought from my mind and will it away. My favorite comeback was “I’ve never been the jealous type”. Oh but I was. And it started manifesting in ways a child that had been ignored for years would. It acted up.

I think I first noticed it when another friend was getting close to my human diary. I didn’t understand what was coming over me, I just wanted them apart all the time. It was foreign to me, that feeling. I just needed it to stop. Their relationship suddenly became a threat to me.

Then with possessions, someone would get something really nice and everyone else is gushing about it and for a second I’d be mute. I’d tell myself that if I don’t comment on it, I take the power away. But it didn’t make sense to me. I’m supposed to celebrate that thing too.

I got bothered and had to find the root of everything and I realized everyone around me acted like they were happy for people all the time but when there’s an issue, the most talked about thing is that person’s recent happening aka the thing we just celebrated. And I thought to myself, were they really happy for the person then?

Maybe they were. But it didn’t add up.

Nobody wants to admit that they are jealous at the moment so they don’t appear the bad one but some carry the jealousy till it brews and becomes envy making everything the other person does irritating to you. I don’t know about you but I’d rather be the bad one and let things go.

I think it’s okay to be jealous. I mean we are insatiable beings and our wants and likes will always cross paths so what if someone gets it before you do, tell the person exactly how you feel and then genuinely celebrate the person.

Or don’t tell the person how you feel and go back to wishing that thing was yours every single time the person flaunts it. Who suffers?

It’s called the greed eyed monster for a reason.

Once again, this is my take versus yours. I admit I’m the jealous type. I want things and I want people and I don’t always get them but I shouldn’t have to hide it from you. That’s just a recipe for trouble. And to those who never get jealous, well it must be nice. This is me admitting I’m jealous of you.

FOR THE LOVE OF HAPPY ENDINGS.

Who doesn’t love happy endings? Children who watch Cinderella want to see the evil stepmother suffer. Those who watch Little Mermaid want to see the witch die. Even adults watch blockbusters hoping that the villain dies a terrible death after causing so much chaos. It is just how life is supposed to happen; according to our wishes.

However, some scriptwriters defy this norm and come up with the most confusing endings ever. Some don’t even leave an end, they simply introduce the next villain, leaving the viewers annoyed and on edge. Some leave you with a question, some leave you with a puzzle; pick up on subtleties and figure out the rest.

I’ve come to appreciate these scriptwriters so much because they help us remember that life isn’t black and white. The maid wouldn’t always marry a prince, the killer wouldn’t always be found, and that friend wouldn’t always come begging for forgiveness so you can have peace of mind. Sometimes these people even do better in life while you stay stuck in the anger-forgiveness –self-doubt cycle.

The reality versus ideal will continue to clash as long as humans remain. You can control your behavior but cannot predict how the person next to you will react or behave. Neither can you expect everyone to understand your reasons for acting the way you do.

Movies are supposed to portray what happens in reality and appeal to your emotions, making you see for yourself how certain decisions you make can affect others. Who knows? You might be the villain in your own story.
But we watch movies with a closed mindset. The villain is the villain and the good guy is the good guy, not minding that sometimes the good guy made a decision at the beginning of the movie which indirectly affected the villain and made him or her into one.

Other times, the “villain” has to save a loved one, hence the calculated irrational decisions. Who says the “good guy” would not have done the same? Or rather who cares? There has to be a happy ending. One of them must lose.

Movies have continually shown us how a first marriage crashes and one of them gets it right the second time. Unknowingly, they feed us the mindset that we can always get it right the second time so people can get into wrong relationships; thinking the happy ending comes next. No, it’s not that simple.

Should movies stop showing happy endings? They wouldn’t be fun to watch anymore if they do. And the lucky ones get their happy endings anyway. But the few that show us realities of life should be equally appreciated since life doesn’t always give us happy endings.

My Unpopular opinion…..

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Word on the street is that, “If everybody likes you, then something is wrong”. You aren’t doing enough, you aren’t speaking up, you aren’t shattering tables, you aren’t making noise about something, you aren’t standing for something, you aren’t doing something right. And so on.

As much as all of this is true, there’s another side to it. Nobody tells you that if nobody likes you, you’re also doing something wrong.

People tend to take the first one and run with it in everything, stepping on toes as they go, feeling on top of the world because people talk about them a lot even if it’s mostly negative.

Dear, if nobody likes you, you’re definitely doing something wrong.

In life, there should be a balance. People can dislike you for having different opinions on a topic but they shouldn’t dislike the idea of you being in the discussion at all.

People can dislike you for being the best dressed in the room, but they shouldn’t cringe immediately they know you’re coming.

As confusing as this looks, it’s pretty simple.

A discussion wouldn’t be complete without opposing opinions but talking down on every one in the discussion definitely doesn’t speak well of you. Walking into the room looking all fly and feeling on top of the world isn’t wrong but looking down on every other person in the room doesn’t make you look good.

Truly, everyone can’t like you but a number of people should.

You can’t get away with the “I don’t need friends“ narrative all the time. Nah, you just don’t have a good personality. Check yourself and make things right. Thank you for coming to my TedWrite up😂😂